Country Music

You all know what I'm talking about. It's feared among the children, adults and anyone else stuck in a car for 15 hours because the driver likes country. This abomination of music I have discovered has lethal effects just after 15 minutes; if you don't take precautions you will die. Country music has a way of making you want to gouge your flesh and pull off you ears, but if you follow these simple steps you shouldn't have a problem with it anymore.

1. Try to ignore the pounding tune of achey breaky hearts as they penetrate your skull.

2. Next purchase industrial strength ear muffs that block out so much sound that you thoughts begin to echo in you head.

3. Smash your head against the window until you slip into comatose thereby saving you the agony of the music.

4. If the driver is playing the music off of a CD, take the CD at the next rest stop and throw it as hard as you can so that hopefully, it will be lost to the winds forever.

5. If all else fails, there is the trusty MP3 player to pump music into your brain so loudly that anyone who likes country won't be able to enjoy it.

I hope you have found these tips to be helpful or somewhat destructive which ever you prefer. Until my next topic.

Neutronite

Laziness...

Sorry, I have been how you say, Lazy. It is a fantastic phenomena know scientifically as "Lazirosis Coachest Potatium", or in common vernacular "Lazy Coach Potato."

There are many subtle layers of laziness which I will outline for you: Stage one, the uncontrollable urge to drink pop and eat vast amounts of deep fried potato slices. Stage two, television begins to dictate your very life through flashing images of hypnosis. Stage three, the final stage, coming to the point when the remote is but 10 inches from your grasp and you refuse to get up and change the channel.

You see it is easy for a person to be sucked into this vicious cycle of laziness. And that is a perfectly logical explanation for not posting for three weeks. ITS NOT MY FAULT!! I blame society.

Neutronite

Christmas Light Overkill...

You've all seen it, you all know it, you all somewhat fear it, yes its the yard on the block that puts up so many Christmas lights that his house requires at least three fusion power plants to provide sufficient power for it. You probably already know he saves his money all year to pay his Christmas electric bill and buy lights for illumination.

But you may find yourself buying dubious amounts of Christmas decorations and when this happens you know that you have finally lost your mind. When you go to the wally marty down the street to go and pick up a mechanical singing Santa that could permanently scar small children for life (AAAhh! Santa he's after me!, It's ok it was just a dream), rope lights to light up your trees so that the squirrels can enjoy themselves, and a large inflatable, singing, waving, and light-up cactus wearing a sombrero just to say that you have the most lights on your block you now know how utterly disturbed and sick you are.

Please, you don't have to make your yard shine with the heat and intensity of the sun for it to be Christmasey. Just stay calm when you visit your local wal-mart and resist the uncontrollable urge to buy copious amounts of lights. This has been a public service announcement.

Neutronite

Fro-Wednesday

Fro-Wednesday's make one feel like Viewtiful Joe.


We have reached an incredible date on the calendar indeed! Fro-Wednesday is defined in Neutron's Made-up Dictionary: The Fro-Wednesday comes to pass when thoust week hath endth with a Wednesday; creating what we know as the Fro-Wednesday.

This FW(Fro-Wednesday) was particularly wondrous due to the fact that it is now officially Christmas break without homework. AAhh, the magnificent and mystical flamingo pine tree was glistening with snow in the sunshine and when this totally strange and somewhat disturbing thing happens you just know that you need a two week period of vegetativness.

FW's are strange as they mess up my body because when your body thinks that it's Friday and it's not, pretty strange things can happen. Take for instance when sit down to watch some mind-numbing television and you realize nothing good is on. Or when you wake up in the middle of the night realizing that you didn't do your homework when you really didn't need to. Finally when you arise to the morning sun and your heart sinks because you just realized that you have missed the bus only to realize with great relief that there is no school today.

Don't read too much into the negatives of the FW, but instead look at this... WE HAVE NO SCHOOL. You see we must come to appreciate the FW because it represent many large and inspirational things that...What the crap am I saying? It's good 'cause we have no school, the end, discontinued, gone, bye-bye, adios, arividurche, chow-chow, program terminated.

Neutronite

The day before Christmas break

There is a magical time

Where school becomes play

And all the teachers go out on there way

But I have no time to rhyme because its Christmas time!!!

-Neutronite-

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What is it about the day of school before Christmas break? Is it the weird aroma of pine trees and cookies that fills the air of Joy and Jubilee? Or could it be that we just can't wait to become fill with Christmas presents and oversized portions of holiday food?

Me, personally I like the food, but it's probably not the same for everyone reading this. You do know that the smell of nature and frosted delectables is a smell that causes a certain yearning for the family and company (or not) of Christmas Eve.

Something strange happens on the day of school before Christmas break... Its not really school, all it really is a bunch of people running shouting and playing. I'm not really complaining, well, because it is the best type of school day, the kind where you don't do anything at all. Boy, oh boy, it is definitely something worth a certain amount of study. Perhaps we have crossed into a parallel dimension where there is no pointless, tedious, and mostly overbearing homework and school work is no more!

But we all know that in the end we all love the day before Christmas break because we lavish at the thought of not doing anything for an entire two weeks.

Neutronite

Brain numbing television.

If you ever were a kid at once you know the feeling. Teeeveeeee! Teve? Teve! Holy crap, my show is on!
Yeah, I know that you know the feeling because at one time all of us did it. What was it about those Saturday morning cartoons that made us instantly have the urge to jump up into the air while screaming and I quote, "Cartoons! Cartoons! AAAHAHh! TEEEEE- VEVEE!" (I heard this just this morning)?

What the crap was good about these cartoon programs. We can't say that the animation in those cartoons was any good because, well, it wasn't. Was it violent flashes of light being emitted from the television at a rate that would induce convulsions in a throw pillow? Or was it the overly predictable storyline that would be so predictable you could figure out what the entire season was about just by seeing one episode?

The answer is simple.... It wasn't any of the above, it was a combination of terrible lip syncing, seizure producing flashes, and stories that look like they have been written by a monkey on something. When they combine together they form something truly magical and wondrous, a pretty dang good cartoon! Yeah, you heard me, suprisingly they turn out to be fairly good shows because of this.

So next time you accuse a person of watching a crappy cartoon, just take time to ACTUALLY watch the cartoon before you criticize someone, but after you have seen it feel free to state your opinion.

Neutronite

Fridays

AAhh. There is a strange and wonderful thing that happens on a Friday... Its name has been know throughout the ages as sleep, laziness, lathargy and the loss of the ability to even change the channel on the television.
When Fridays finally roll around it makes you want to go home and immediately succumb into a deep vegetative state. It's a strange feeling knowing that you don't have to do a thing for two and a half whole days! It's better when the day you had concluded pleasantly with a nice 24oz bottle of Coca-Cola (Hold on I got use the um, you now...)
Anyway what was I talking about? Oh yeah, um yeah It is wondrous and splendid when the best day of the week is made better by not doing anything but eating, sleeping and watching your favorite television programs. And the lesson we can all learn from this is not to screw up anyone's Friday because it's Friday man. (And that means you Joe!!!)

Good days

A weird thing just happened to me today... I actually had a fairly good day! Can you believe it? I sure can't. Well what happened was that my Algebra II teacher was absent today so our test was postponed until Monday! I also didn't get any homework from any of my teachers today because I am singing in the school choir concert today. Awww, the power of a good thursday makes one want to sing, in fact I think I will.